The Albany-Schenectady-Troy area has a rich movie theater history. Many of those theaters were part of national or regional theater chains. Now I can’t speak for the theaters that operated before my birth – I do know we had some RKO theaters and Stanley Warner and Fabian theaters in the area – but by the mid-1970’s – the time when I started watching movies on my own, without parental supervision – the Capital Region’s theaters were all grouped in national chains. The Hellman, Plaza, Towne and Colonie Center theaters were all part of the United Artists chain; while the Cine 1-2-3-4-5-6 and the Mohawk Mall multiplex were affiliated with CinemaNational Corporation.
Now we move forward in time. Eventually the Colonie Center and Crossgates Mall theaters (along with the Northway Mall Cine 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9- (deep breath) – 10) were part of the Hoyts theater chain, an American offshoot of the Australian / New Zealand movie distribution conglomerate.
I say this because …
Well, yesterday, I treated myself to a Sunday afternoon showing of The Naked Gun. This is the new film with Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson, and is a reboot of the 1990’s-era “Police Squad” movies that starred Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley. Funny film. You should watch it. And stay to the end, there’s crazy credits and a couple of post-credit scenes.
I saw The Naked Gun at my local Regal Cinema, the eight-screen movieplex in East Greenbush. I like this theater; it’s not crowded, I don’t have to choose an assigned seat, which means I’m not forced to sit next to someone who hasn’t bathed / who chats throughout the film / who wears Dollar Tree perfume and lots of it / who starts getting handsy with their date. Let me chomp down on some popcorn, guzzle a diet cola, and enjoy the film.
Now of course, I’m used to the routine that if a film starts at 4:45, you know the previews and commercials will start at 4:30 and the trailers will start at 4:45 so that the film will officially start at maybe 5:00. Nah, apparently this Regal STARTS their commercials and advertisements at the advertised start time of 4:45, so the movie itself doesn’t even flash the opening credits until MAYBE 5:10 if I’m lucky. Yeesh. Oh well, let me just put my soda down in this cup-holder arm-rest, and –
That’s when I saw it. Something about the armrest. I must have sat in this Regal Cinema for years, and I’ve never noticed it until now.
The armest is still branded as part of the Hoyts Cinema chain.
I’m not kidding. Take a gander at this.
For reference points … Hoyts was purchased and absorbed by Regal Cinemas in (checks notes) 2003. Twenty-two years ago.
Holy silence yer cell phones, Batman … this means that this East Greenbush multiplex either hasn’t been renovated in over two decades … or maybe when they DID renovate it, instead of purchasing all-new chairs and armrests, the company cannibalized parts from other theaters in the area.
Damn. That’s wild. These seats could have been in use when the original Naked Gun movie first played in the area.
That’s pretty impressive. And I never would have noticed this – had I not tried to put my drink in that little cup holder and noticed the armrest had a bit of a wobble to it. Look at the picture. This armrest is missing an anchor screw.
Well, at least I enjoyed the movie. And I had the whole row to myself.
Man, if that armrest could talk. You know what it would say?
Of course you do. It would say Hoyts.
Sorry, I’m still having some Naked Gun-type humor flashbacks. And don’t call me Shirley. 😀
Chuck The Writer 
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